


Rats, hands and something more

by CTippy



Category: New Girl
Genre: A little bit of fluff, F/M, Friendship, Funny, Humor, Love is in the Air, One Shot, embarrassing but funny moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:14:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8748325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CTippy/pseuds/CTippy
Summary: A frightened Schmidt asks for help. What happened? What are Nick and Jess going to do? A Nick/Jess one-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about 4 years ago. Back in the day I had a bit of an obsession with the show and these two, so I wrote three little fics. I decided to post this one here even though it's pretty old 'cause I got nostalgic about the good ol' times and because I am particularly fond of it, it reminds of when I was able to write, and to write about funny things and characters in a decent sort of way. I hope you'll read it and have a good time, maybe even laugh a little. :)  
> I apologise for any mistakes and my poor writing style, English is not my native language.

"AAAAAAAAH!" was the scream of horror Nick and Jess heard coming from the kitchen.

The two roommates opened their doors at the same time, finding themselves one in front of the other: Jess had a scared and puzzled look on her face, while Nick was showing his Turtle 'what the hell is going on?' Face. They stood there, gazing at each other for a couple seconds, then they exclaimed together: "Schmidt!" and rushed into the kitchen. They found their friend standing on one of the stools.

"Schmidt, what the hell are you doing?", Nick asked his terrified friend.

"YOU... GUYS...!", Schmidt was clearly shocked: he couldn't talk and when he tried, the only thing coming out of his mouth was a piercing sound.

"Okay Schmidt, relax!", said Jess gently, getting closer to him, "What happened?"

Her friend took a deep breath and tried again: "THERE'S A-"

"Darn, Schmidt! Could you stop screaming like a little girl? I think I just got deaf from my right ear!"

"Nick!", Jess cast a look of disapproval to the bartender, who replied with his Turtle 'Whatever' Face. Then, she looked back at his friend on the stool: "Okay, Schmidt. Just breathe in... Breathe out... Good. Now, let's start again: what happened?"

"I... I was getting ready to cook dinner, when I- I saw it..."

"What?"

"A-a mouse. A big mouse. I think it was a giant rat, actually. I jumped on the stool the moment I saw it. I wanted to get up on the table, but I had my shoes on..."

"I don't see any mice, Schmidt" replied Nick, looking around.

"It ran into the bathroom."

"Great," his friend grumbled, "Couldn't you just hit it with the broom or... I don't know, trap it with one of your bowls?"

Schmidt looked at his friend in total disbelief: "Trap it with one of my precious bo- Nicholas Miller, are you drunk?!? And stop being such a douche, you know mice are one of the few things I'm afraid of... "

"Few!", cried Nick, "Schmidt, you are afraid of everything! Remember when you made me run into the kitchen 'cause, I'm quoting, 'An ant is threatening me'?"

Jess chuckled: "Oh, I remember that!"

"It was an oversized ant. And it was clearly calling for backup." Schmidt replied, defensively.

"Hey Jess, do you remember when you had to go save him from the bird-cat that lives on the roof?"

"Oh yeah, poor thing!", Jess giggled, "It was Cece's fault that time, though..."

"Okay, ha-ha-ha! Let's laugh at the Jewish's misfortunes! Why don't you cut it out and think of a good way to get rid of that monster?"

"Okay, okay! I'll deal with it!", Nick answered, "Schmidt, step off the stool, run into your room and lock the door," he ordered, while taking something from the kitchen shelf, "And if you have another face-to-face with our little friend... Use this."

Schmidt grabbed the spray from Nick's hands, read the name on it and gave a puzzled look at his friend: "Nick... This is mosquito repellent!"

"I know, but that's all we've got. It will have to do." Then Nick turned to Jess, disregarding his friend's complaints, "Jess, I guess you're afraid of mice, too. Go to Cece's, I'll let you know when I'm done here."

"Why can't I go to Cece's, too?", replied Schmidt. Nick kept his eyes on Jess, without bother answering his roommate.

"I'm not going to Cece's, I don't want you to be alone against that mouse. I'm sure it's not as big as Schmidt says, but I'd rather be with you. Just in case." she answered, a sweet smile on her face.

Nick felt his heart melt at that reply... and that smile. He got used to that blue-eyed weirdo. Actually, he liked having her around... too much, maybe. "Okay!", he said with a half-smile, "Go get the broom in the closet, I'll use my College golf club."

"You used to play golf?" Jess asked, surprised.

"No. I just found it on campus. Schmidt, why are you still here?"

"Okay okay, but be careful: the bathroom's floor may be a little... slippery."

"Because... ?", Nick was waiting for the answer, but he already knew what he was going to say.

"Because I cleaned it, right before I met the rat in the kitchen..."

"Schmidt, you've cleaned it this morning!", said Jess, incredulously. That guy cleaned the whole loft twice a day. Three, if he wasn't at work. It was maddening.

"I know, but our darling Nick doesn't know what 'order' and 'neatness' mean. Not even when he finally chooses to clean himself up! That place turns into a terrib-"

"Seriously, Schmidt?", Nick got closer to his friend, a menacing look on his face. He was very annoyed, "Do you really want to bring this up, again?"

"It's not my fault y-"

"If you don't step off this stool and go into your room right now, you can be damn sure Jess is going to Cece's and you'll be here, helping me trace that filthy animal, with its long tail and its red ey-"

" 'kay bye!"

* * *

 

Nick and Jess' heads popped out of the blue right out of the bathroom doorway, taking a look inside.

"No mouse on the horizon...", Jess whispered.

"He could have hidden in the shower or somewhere else. We have to go in very quietly and then take him by surprise."

"How do you know it's a him? It could be a her. It could be a mom, with babies waiting for her to come back home."

Nick rolled his eyes: "Jess. Just get in there and shut up."

They both entered without making a sound, broom and golf club in their hands. The floor was still wet.

Nick warned his roommate: "Move around slowly. You could fall and break your hand, or something."

"Don't worry"

"I DO worry!", he broke out.

Jess turned to watch him, pleasantly surprised: "You're very sweet, Nicholas. But I'm old enough to know you should not run on a wet floor."

Nick felt a funny feeling is his stomach. At first, he didn't like when Jess started to call him 'Nicholas'. Then he decided it wasn't that bad after all: every time his roommate called him that way, she gave him a smile. He let go of that thought and showed her friend his Turtle Face for the umpteenth time: "Oh, really? I don't think so. I lost count of all the times I heard a thud coming from somewhere in the loft, rushed out of my room and found you on the floor. The guys and I still can't believe you fell from the couch while writing a note!" he said, clearly amused.

"I told you: I was in a very precarious position, so I-", she suddenly shut up, as she realized her friend was - with little success- trying not to laugh in her face, "You know what? Forget about it", she muttered, walking away from him and towards the shower.

"Jess, come on! Please, don't tell me I offended you! I was jok-"

"Ssshhh!"

Nick instantly shut up: "What?"

"Did you hear it?", asked Jess.

"What?"

"A squeak. Coming from the shower." Jess was not joking at all: Nick could see her scared, wide-eyed look on her face. And then, he heard it: a squeak. Yeah, it was definitely coming from the shower. The broom almost slipped out of Jess' hands.

"Jess, move away from there, right now. You're scared to death." Nick told her, in a hushed voice. But she was still a bit hurt: she wasn't bothered by the guys joking with her, but lately she could hardly stand that Nick was so often witness of her clumsiness. And, less than that, she couldn't stand the fact that he made fun of her: "I'm not scared! I am almost 30. I can take care of myself. I don't need you, Nick Miller!"

Nick ran a hand through his hair, nervously: "Jess, don't be so stubborn!", he replied, trying to reach her.

It was all for nothing: Jess opened the shower curtain and the biggest rat she had ever seen stared at her with its terrifying red eyes. It squeaked, she screamed and started running towards the door. Unfortunately, Nick was right behind her. And the floor was wet. Jess bumped into Nick's chest, knocking them both off balance, and in an istant they were on the ground. Well, Nick fell to the floor, hitting his head; Jess fell right on his roommate.

"Oh my god! Nick, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" The bartender, still a little dazed for the bang on the head, followed his friend's voice and realized Jess' face was just inches from his. He could smell her... he could feel her body on his. She looked worried. He felt her warm hand resting on his cheek... Maybe he could have joined hands with her... It wasn't a big deal, right? Just two roommates, lying on each other... holding hands... _Okay, Nick. Don't go too far. Jess is off limits. Or is she?_

Jess was waiting for an answer, but Nick still looked a little confused. She rested her hand on his friend's face, worried about him. She didn't make much of what she had just done, until Nick put his hand on hers. _What's going on? What is he doing? Why is he looking at me like that? Jess, don't freak out. It's just Nick. Nicholas Miller. Nick 'Turtle Face' Miller. Your roommate... The one, Cece said, whose feet were pointing right at you... The one who, Cece said, is into you... The one who, Cece said, is your perfect Matthau... Cece, you talk too much!_

Before she would flip out, he spoke: "Don't worry, Jess", he said softly, moving her hand from his cheek "I'm fine. It's just a bump at the most." He cracked a smile and Jess, relieved, smiled back. "Now... Could you... uhm..."

"Oh, sure." Just when Jess was getting up, the rat sped along, right next to them.

Jess screamed again and sat on a yelling Nick: "HOLY CRAP! THAT IS A FREAKIN' GIANT RAT!"

"TOLD YA!", Schmidt shouted from his room.

"SHUT UP, SCHMIDT!" was Nick's answer. They stayed silent for a few seconds, then Nick became aware of something...

"Jess... Uhm... Could you... your hand..." Jess looked down at her right hand: "What? Is something wrong with my hand?" Nick closed his eyes, uncomfortable: "Jess, NOT that hand. Your other hand!"

"What?"

"Your left hand, Jess..."

"Oops!", Jess giggled, as she realized what Nick was referring to, "My hand was on your penis!"

"It was not on my... Jess, can you just get off me now?"

They helped each other up, took their 'anti-rat weapons' and headed towards the door.

"I'm sorry I put my hand on your pee-pee."

"Jess... It was on the zip of my pants."

"Yeah, but your bing-bong was right there."

"Jess."

It was just like that time when she opened the door of his room while he was dancing naked, and started giving his penis all the names she could possibly think of: A. Freaking. Nightmare. All he needed was for her to start sing-

"My haaaand was on- "

"Jess!"

"Okay..."

"..."

"On Nicholas' peeeeniiiis "

"JESS!"

* * *

 

In the end, the 'rat emergency' was solved by Winston; he came back home from work and did what his roommates should have done right away: call a pro. And Schmidt paid, of course.

* * *

 

Nick heard knocking on his door, "Who is it?", he asked.

"It's me, Jess."

The bartender smiled: he knew it was her. Since he came back home, after he almost moved in with Caroline, Jess had come to his room every night and wished him goodnight. As if she wanted to make sure he was still there. That he was not gone again. Maybe he was imagining it, but for some strange reason, he liked to think it that way. "Come in."

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Look, Nick...", she began, closing the door, "I wanted to apologize for what happened today..."

"Oh", he instinctively put his hand to his head, "It's nothing. Just a bump."

"Do you mind if I check? I would be more comfortable knowing it's nothing serious."

"Jess, I can assure you, it's not-", Nick was trying to convince his friend he was fine, but she began to look at him with her big and begging blue eyes...  _Oh my god, she looks like Puss in Boots!_

"Okay, okay! Telling you I'm fine is not gonna make you go, so... Knock yourself out!"

Jess placed herself on the bed behind his roommate's back and touched his head, running her hands gently through his hair: "I know you don't like when people touch your hair..."

"Oh no, you can touch my hair any time you want", _You can touch my ha- What the hell is wrong with me?_

Jess couldn't help but smile at that answer. She felt like an idiot. Good thing that Nick couldn't see that stupid expression on her face. "Does it hurt?" she asked, pressing a specific part of his head.

"OUCH!"

"It's really big, but you were right: it's just a bump" stated Jess, sitting on the side of the bed, next to his roommate.

They spent a couple of minutes watching their own feet, then she spoke again: "I-uhm... I'm sorry for..."

"... the whole hand thing", Nick finished the sentence for her.

"Yeah...", said Jess, a nervous giggle coming out of her mouth.

"Yeah...", repeated Nick. Nervous giggle: she was feeling uncomfortable. "Don't worry", he squeezed her hand in a friendly gesture, "It's okay", he told her with a smile.

"Good." Jess knew it was okay. That Nick really meant what he'd just said. She had embarrassed him for the umpteenth time and now he was giving her his usual answer to her apologies: his special smile. A full, genuine smile you don't see that often on Nick Miller's face. A smile that was meant just for her. She squeezed back his hand. They kept looking at each other, holding hands... As she was contemplating her roommate, her best friend's words came to her mind...

_"Who did you tell me was your perfect man?" "Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men. And I could be girl Jack Lemmon." "He's a total Matthau! I'm telling you, he gets you. And did you see his feet? A guy's feet point at what they want. His feet were pointing right at you."_

Jess thought her friend's theories were stupid and absurd, but she freaked out that day. And she had freaked out earlier. But right there, at that moment... she wasn't upset at all... "Well, I- I should go now..." she said, freeing her hand from Nick's, "Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day at school"

"Okay, uhm... Goodnight, then."

Jess smiled again: "Goodnight, Nicholas", and closed the door behind her.

Nick stared at the door for a few seconds, then he shook his head and smiled: she was the most incredible girl he had ever met. She was stubborn, impulsive and absolutely weird. She was able to surprise him with her being so naive and sweet, but then she was able to drive him so crazy that he could have killed her; probably that was a mutual thing.

Jessica Day: the girl living in a world made of candy clouds, unicorns and rainbows. The girl who always smiled and could see the best in everyone.

Jessica Day: a girl that he didn't even know just a few months back, and now every single time he thought about her, he couldn't help but smile.


End file.
